Not pretty but Antlers are through to the business end of the National Cup

Sittingbourne (24) v (28) Teddington RFC - RFU Junior Vase London and South East Round 5.

The National Cup once again focused the attention of the 1st XV on Saturday. From past experiences in this competition we could rely on certain factors that had now become a tradition.

• We get drawn to play Away
• The trip would require a packed minibus and a circumnavigation of the M25
• On the M25 or other similar motorway an item of kit gets dislodged and blown from the minibus roof rack. It brings 3 lanes of following traffic to a complete standstill and also depletes the shrinking reserves of training equipment at the club.
• Giselle gets lost (usually before reaching Bushy Park)
• Timmy HOLDSWORTH (12) upsets the opposition with his Shane Warne style sledging and bemuses his own teammates by his ‘Coco the Clown’ style of play
• Paul ‘The Chosen One’ Manley (10) buffs his halo, mounts his trusty steed and runs rings round everyone.
• Antlers coast to a comfortable victory.
• Someone leaves something behind.

Our trip to Sittingbourne nearly, but not quite changed all of this. Yes we were drawn to play away in deepest Kent on a 6 Nations Saturday, so yes it was a packed minibus around the M25. Yes a tackle shield and a bag of 5 warm up suits was dislodged and blown off the roof rack somewhere between Chessington and Clackett Lane Services. But then things started to go awry: Giselle found her way there all on her own and without a single call to her phone a ‘satnav’ friend. Stranger still was the outstanding performance from Timmy Holdsworth, his defence and ball carrying efforts were extraordinary, in fact so extraordinary that it put ‘The Chosen one’ completely off his stride. Passes were dropped, touches missed and a long range drop goal was so wide of the mark that it hit the corner flag. The halo had dulled and maybe slipped…..a little.

The victory was anything but comfortable. Sittingbourne refused to let us play and every time we thought we had finally broken free they came straight back at us. So it was down to a penalty try and more conventional ones by Ferg FARRELL (8), SHARPY(6) and CJ (4) together with conversions from Dom STONE (11) and Glen BOYLING (5) which saw us rather shakily past the finishing line and into the London & SE semi final.

We depart on the long journey home and eventually cross over Hampton Court Bridge, then there's a shout from the back of the bus "Sh*t!! I've left my...........boots/shorts/kit bag/ hair sculpting putty/girlfriend/virginity behind" Said player is then showered with empty beer cans and everyone piles into the clubhouse to witness Ian MURRAY holding court in Crumbly Corner and recounting for the 200th time a tale of daring do involving The Antlers 'invincibles' team of 1979.
 
The highlight of the day was the phone call that we received from The Surrey Police control room informing us that they had recovered a tackle shield and 5 warm up suits from the outside lane of the M25 just after Chessington. That news was completely amazing as I’d never once managed to generate enough speed in the old bus to get out of the slow lane. Wonders will never cease. All in all it was a rather topsy turvy day.